Part I of a series on Empowering Language Patterns:
We need to look at ourselves more as the adult children we are and start paying attention to how we parent ourselves. The way we word our “inner voice” and the tone we use in this self talk will determine whether or not we listen to ourselves and do what we ask ourselves to do. Certain words build and add resources and others burn resources.
A lot of times we think through the “why” we do things or why we don’t do things … Stop using the word why !!!! When we ask ourselves why? It makes us feel like we are judging ourselves and you will usually feel defensive or rebellious….we revert to justification or excuse stories with ourselves!! It doesn’t empower us (it allows us to make excuses). Our brain like the computer it is, starts looking for answer’s the moment we pose a question. When we assign our brain to find information that it can’t, it continues to sort and look for data that it never truely will. Since “why” questions rarely have clear and concise answers our brain burns wasted energy and uses valuable resources looking for information that will never quite fulfill the need for certainty that our pondering’s wished for.
So get rid of the word “why?” Substitute the word “How” or the question “For what reason” instead – “How is it that you’re not getting up and working out in the morning?” How are you continuing to do this same destructive pattern. Be genuine with ourselves as we seek to understand the details….How are you doing or not doing something (verses defensiveness which is not resourceful) , it puts us in the offensiveness to discover the real underlying reasons.
For what reason is it that I stay in the bed and not get up? For what reason do I not meditate?, this will bring out or help you discover your true intent and “what stops you”. It takes skill to not do things. To change strategies we need to see our current ones clearly. As we master our “Inner Voice” our “Outer Voice” will follow.